Chaucer champions pilgrimages, I espouse beach parties. Tomato, to-mah-to.

Ahem. To begin, I’d like to copy+paste to you, oh Reader, a poem. Try not to groan. I’m only giving you the first four lines:
Whan that Aprill with his shours soote The droghte of March hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swych licour Of which vertu engendred is the flour…
I’m not too familiar with Old English — or Ænglisc, as it were — but I’m pretty sure the modern-day translation goes something like this:
When that April with his showers sweet Has pierced the drought of March to the root, And bathed every vein in such liquor Causing even flowers to get drunk…
Whether or not I’m 100% correct doesn’t really matter [though I am, in all seriousness, way off the mark]. The point is that Geoffrey Chaucer knows exactly what I’m talking about when I say, “That summer feeling.” He’s ma boi. Precise definitions of “that summer feeling” naturally vary from person to person. Chaucer, for example, describes that summer feeling with sweet April showers and drunk flowers. As per me, it’s that gorgeous moment after the world is finally in full bloom and before the inevitable hot spell has everyone cursing the summer sun. Skirts are as short as they’re ever gonna be, cut-off tanks couldn’t possibly show more bicep, the heat is fresh, and school is out. Anyway, what are you going to do about that summer feeling? Might I suggest:
  1. The Beach.

    I'm not trying to plug Corona. It's just that their advertisements always feature really nice beaches. Marketing works / kill me, I now associate nice beaches with Corona.

  2. A Party.

    This showed up when I Googled an image for "party." SRSLY.

So, if you are anywhere near Shanghai, you better be going to this. And be sure you wear something sexy because someone is definitely going to put you and your hot bod in a sweetass video.
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