Hey there, pal! Didja get some dude’s/babe’s number last night? Suh-weeeeet. Really rad, man, I am so happy for you! That’s great. Say what? You’re going to text? Right now? Hm, I don’t know about that. You met this person yesterday. Well, you don’t want him/her thinking that you’re desperate. Or needy. Are you a needy lover? I wouldn’t know because we’re friends. But even if you are needy (and I’m not saying that you are, I’m just saying), that’s a personality trait you might want to keep under wraps until so-and-so gets to know you better. Anyway, here are a couple handy dandy rules on texting that I violate all the time:
LOL! DIDN'T THAT MAKE U CRINGE. DOESN'T IT GET SO MUCH WORSE WHEN U USE ALL CAPS??
Put your phone away. Put it away. Everything that I would have to warn about texting—too soon, too over the top, too damn much and for Chrissakes do not read so deeply into any texts or non-texts—would be solved by putting your phone away. The more mysterious you are, the lesser the chance dude/babe will [unfairly] write you off as eager, needy, douchey, or whatever. And maybe you can compose the wittiest text message ever tomorrow.
Okay! I get it. I get it! You promise (you did, right?) you’re not going to liken this person to a baby panda. And the vibes were real good last night. So text already. I believe in you.
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